If boys jizzed cookie dough I would not let my boyfriend own pants.
Just wanna run till I die and I just might
My organic chemistry test is in 45 minutes. I can’t tell if I finally feel ready or I just stopped caring. I can tell you one thing though. Im beasting those freaking reactions! Hopefully everything else will fall into place.
Im so conditioned to feel bad for things im doing even if I shouldn’t. He said it was fine but I can’t shake this anxiety. Shouldn’t have had this discussion the night before a final :(
IVE FINALLY FIGURED OUT MY FUCKING IDENTITY CRISIS!!!
I always look at pictures of people and wish I was them. mostly I look at people who have beautiful tattos, bright hair, dreads, and so on. I always want to look like them but that is just completely opposite of my personality. When I get into this struggle of what I want to be vs. who I actually am I get very depressed. Today I’ve finally unraveled my mystery…. I look at these pictures when I’m alone (generally stressing over a hard exam). These two things combined set me off. What I see in these people isn’t something I want to be physically but something very in the moment! I very seldom see these people alone. They are always in groups doing things that I wouldn’t normally do, but I envy just because they are with so many friends. They’re not stressing about school but just relaxing. I always go back and forth about whether or not I am a introvert or an extrovert but today I know that I need fucking people! I go crazy inside my own head. I need warmth and love and feeling. I just can not be alone. Im sitting here alone but finally I understand and I feel more at peace instead of crawling in my own skin.